Sunday, February 13, 2011

525,600 Minutes

The last year has been the slowest year of my life. Every tick of the clock brings a different thought and a different emotion. As I look back through the last 525,600 minutes I am overwhelmed by all the changes that life has brought my way.

In a million years, I never thought that I would be a single mom...again. I never thought I would be divorced...again. Lots of things go through my mind and my heart, mostly things that don't need to be shared in the same way in which they were experienced.

I know that God has a plan for me and for my children. I know that He has not let His grip on us loosen. We are safe and sound in His care, and feeling His continued grace and faithful provision has been a beautiful reminder of His unfailing love for us.

It was a year and a half ago that my life suddenly changed and everything that I thought was true was stripped from me. I have had to relearn what I thought I knew about love, trust and honesty...the foundation of human existence and the fundamental elements of genuine relationships.

The emotion has been overwhelming and debilitating at times, but I feel that by facing my fears of inadequacy and by continuing to require myself to go through honest thought processes that challenge my own shortcomings in relationships - I have found myself at a stronger place mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

I look forward to the years ahead to the love that I will find and the new perspective that I will bring into my relationships. None of us deserve the grace of God ~ may we all continue to fall on Him as we stumble along this broken road...