Sunday, March 09, 2008

Where Do I Go From Here?

This blog is going to have to switch gears a little, which is why I decided to make it private. There is a lot of change in my life right now and I am not sure where it is all going. Sometimes I think that is the best kind of place to be in, because it forces me to rely on God for every step, every breath, every thought.

In 1997 I moved to Nashville to pursue my songwriting dream. I had several major Christian publishers interested in helping me develop my talent. Nothing ever manifested - except I met my husband, Jesse! God is so funny.

But in 2002, God called me to lay down my songwriting. I was devastated. I couldn't understand why He would ask that of me. It was my life, it had been my hopes and dreams since I was 10 years old. It was a lot to give up, but I wanted to obey.

So, I laid it down. It took a year to reprogram my brain so that I wasn't always trying to think of a great hook or think about all the people that I needed to meet and things that I needed to make happen.

Eventually, I began to learn that it was all about trust. God wanted me to trust Him with my future. I had learned to trust in myself and trust in the system, not willing to put my life fully in His hands. He wanted my hope to be in Him and nothing else.

In 2003, just one year later, God called me to chocolate. I had no idea what I was doing. I was excited and passionate, but also completely dependent on God to show me the way. I didn't know the industry, I didn't know the system, the right people, I didn't even know how to make truffles!

But He did.

I willingly let go of everything that I had known and hoped for and He poured out His favor and His blessings on my efforts. I wasn't in business 3 months when I won the top rising star award, then came the national press, Newsweek Magazine, Bon Apetite, Better Homes and Gardens; after that the Veggie Tales DVD and the NYC Chocolate Show, Food Network and now a book!

The book is what really blows my mind. It is the cherry on top. Someone is paying me for my words! I gave up writing and God brought it back in an unexpected way. Isn't He just like that? He just wants us to know that He has it. He has everything we need. He is working on an eternal plan for our lives and through us, all the people that we come in contact with. Utterly amazing.

Apparently, He isn't finished with me. He has brought me right back around to a place of uncertainty. My beloved shop is closed. I don't know what is next. But I do know what He has graciously allowed me to learn - that my hope is in Him - not in a shop, not in a career, not in a book deal. I can loose it all and be just fine. The wealth that I have gained is eternal. It is a beautiful relationship with my Lord and Savior, the one who holds my future and knows my hopes and dreams.

So, where do I go from here? I am not sure, but God is. Ultimately, it will be amazing. Someday I will be in His arms for eternity. That is what this is all about.

10 comments:

JT said...

You're an inspiration to me, even after 10 years. I love you.

Tina said...

Thank you for sharing your heart. I really needed to be reminded of the importance of trusting and obeying. Even when it is so hard. I am so grateful that God has let us share in each others lives. I love watching Him work in your life. It gives me strength in my own. I love you.

-Katie said...

Bethany,

Thank you for sharing that with me. I needed that today. You summed up what I've been trying to figure out for the last couple months...to just trust God. Your blog makes me look forward to your book! <3 Katie

The Steffen's said...

There are so many changes going on in my life in the next few months and this was great to read. Thanks for letting me know about it!

regina pinto said...

Great cover!! can't wait to buy the book!
Congratulations!

Anonymous said...

Bethany, you have a heart filled with Spirit, it is evident. I have viewed your story and your movie how sweet it is...

You have been blest.

Please know that your life story is part of the greater plan. My latest quote is "God plans are greater than anything I could ever imagine or scheme". It is the letting go of our own hopes and dreams and trusting in God for EVERYTHING. It is difficult to do especially living in a world where it seems like everyone is against you.

I have to agree with Jesse and say you are an inspiration.

I am not sure what your exact reasons are for making this private but I will say sometimes you minister to those in other "worlds" even when you are not trying to be (a minister), just sharing what you have in this post, reminds us, that we are all in this life together. Somewhere, right now, there is someone who is relating to your post and maybe taking a deep breath because they realize I am not alone. I am praying for you.

Anonymous said...

if you get overwhelmed do something fun and crazy. try to go to the library and scream. go to mcdonalds and order low fat fries. or a double cheesburger with no cheese. another fun thing to do is call in a bomb threat. maybe not the bomb threat, it didnt work out for me last time

elizebeth said...

Relying on God for every breath, every step, and every thought is the best place.

elizebeth said...

Tell me about the Veggie Tales DVD. We love Veggie Tales.

Havasu said...

I want to know about the Veggie Tales DVD, too. Which one is it? What did you do on it? for it? write it? speak it? Do tell! You know I'm just getting to know you after all these years.

Note: This is my first use of a blog and it was a little nervous about using my real name. Now I know I should have, but don't know how to change it. So, "Havasu" is Aunt Beryl.

Havasu